Monday, October 26, 2009

Kids Are Quick


TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .... 
MARIA: Here it is. 
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ? 
CLASS: Maria. 
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? 
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. 
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TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' 
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D- I-A-L' 
TEACHER: No, that's wrong 
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. 
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? 
DONALD: H I J K L M N O . 
TEACHER: What are you talking about? 
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O . 
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. 
WINNIE: Me! 
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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? 
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. 
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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.' 
MILLIE: I is .. 
TEACHER: No, Millie ..... Always say, 'I am.' 
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.' 
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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him? 
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand. 
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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? 
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. 
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TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? 
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog. 
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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? 
HAROLD: A teacher 
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